What now? Your first steps after deciding to separate
A thoughtful guide through early separation decisions
Deciding your relationship is over can feel very overwhelming. While emotions run high, taking careful first steps protects your interests and creates foundations for a respectful separation process that serves your whole family.
Immediate practical steps
Gather important documents: passports, birth certificates, tax returns, bank statements, super statements, and property papers. Keep copies in a safe place. This practical step prepares you for future discussions without creating unnecessary conflict.
Consider temporary living arrangements carefully if staying together isn't workable. Explore options with family, friends, or rental properties. Document any temporary agreements about children's living arrangements to prevent misunderstandings later.
Financial protection measures
Monitor bank accounts and credit cards without making drastic changes immediately. Sudden account closures or major spending changes can create problems later in settlement negotiations.
Consider notifying your employer's HR department if you need support or if separation affects your work arrangements. Many employers offer employee assistance programs including counselling and legal guidance.
Communicating with children thoughtfully
Plan what to tell children when possible. Keep explanations age appropriate and focus on your ongoing love and support. Avoid blame or detailed explanations about adult relationship problems.
Maintain children's routines as much as possible. Continue usual activities, school arrangements, and contact with extended family unless safety concerns require immediate changes.
Children often worry about practical things like where they will live, which school they will attend, and whether they will still see both parents. Address these real concerns honestly and reassuringly.
Understanding your options
Family dispute resolution provides a collaborative starting point for most separation issues. Mediation often resolves matters more quickly and affordably than court proceedings while helping preserve important relationships.
Consider attending information sessions about family law and dispute resolution options. Understanding the process and your rights helps you make informed decisions about next steps.
Emotional support planning
Separation involves real grief as you adjust to major life changes. Professional counselling provides tools for managing intense emotions and making clear decisions during this vulnerable time.
Connect with trusted friends but be mindful about discussing detailed separation matters on social media or in large groups where information might spread inappropriately.
Taking care of yourself
This period requires significant emotional and mental energy. Pay attention to basics like sleep, nutrition, and gentle exercise. These are not necessities they are important for moving through this challenging time.
Consider what helps you feel calm and grounded - whether that is walking, reading, listening to music, or spending time in nature. Build these activities into your routine deliberately.
Planning for resolution
While this period often feels very heavy and chaotic, many families successfully navigate separation and create new, stable arrangements that work for everyone involved.
Professional support helps you move through this transition with greater clarity, less conflict, and better outcomes for your children and your future.
Our experienced family dispute resolution practitioners across Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, and Hobart provide confidential, supportive guidance during the early stages of separation. Mediation can be in person or online Australia wide. Mediation may be conducted in separate rooms whether in person or in an online setting. This is called shuttle mediation and is quite often the choice of separating partners.
The information contained in this article is general in nature and does not constitute legal advice.